anxiety

This guy’s got bells!

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Why am I such a misfit?

Too timid for the cool kids; too weird for the mainstream. Wondering where my work truely fits in.

Perhaps I don’t let myself say what is fighting to come out, programmed to censor myself, preoccupied with what others will think and say, struggling against some expected confines of what a woman my age should be (whatever the fuck that is) that I absorbed along the way. Worried about embarrassing my sons with my subject matter (But they’ve told me they don’t care if I paint dolls with vaginas!)

Scarred and scared from the manipulation and betrayal of a most recent relationship (But I kicked his ass out! I was triumphant! But the damage remains.) Semi-paralyzed with anxiety, doubt, insecurity…   Fuck that! I’ve got “bells” too! I’m gonna put on my happy clown face and paint them!

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